'I don't like when she's sitting in the same room as me': Guy asks 'AITA?' for making his GF get out of the house while he works

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    Font - .. Posted by u/throwaway89348593479 16 hours ago r/AmItheA AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave the house for 6-7 hours a day? Throwaway because girlfriend is a Redditor. I (24M) am Canadian and have been in the US for 10 months, where I have been living with my American girlfriend (25F) for 7 of them. My time in the US is almost up, and I'm stressing about having to return to Canada. For one, my family is reliant on me to make money to support my grandma and pay for her medical support
  • 02
    Font - My girlfriend lost her job last month, and as a result has been at the house more often. We live in a one bedroom and split the rent evenly. She understands that I'm busy all day/night, but I don't like when she's sitting in the same room as me. Even her presence is distracting to me, she will try to start conversations and she's not the cleanest, so I would ask her to go to the bedroom for the day while I worked in the living room at my desktop.
  • 03
    Font - She was ok with that for a few weeks, but began to complain that she was stuck in the bedroom. She says that since she's paying half the rent, she has every right to be where she wants to be in the house. I agree. So, after a few big fights, we agreed she would leave the house during the day and I would leave the house at night. Well, now she's upset that she's spending all day out of the house. Her car was in an accident last month and has been in the shop, so she's been going to do work
  • 04
    Font - Today, my friend was over and was sitting on the couch, where my girlfriend usually eats lunch. I say couch, but it's really an oversized loveseat. My girlfriend went to go sit in her usual spot to eat lunch, but I asked her if she could eat in the kitchen instead so she would have more room to eat. She went to the kitchen, but I could tell she was pissed. When I asked her if everything was ok, she said she was tired of me controlling her. I think she's being selfish and not considering t
  • 05
    Font - Ok_Register3005 - 16 hr. ago Aficionado [17] A Yta. Your girlfriend does not have to leave the house all work day. That's ridiculous. You need to adapt or go to the library.
  • 06
    Font - NanoPsyBorg 12 hr. ago Enthusiast [8] A I seriously do not understand why he keeps insisting he's "doing this for her and his family", while not providing one iota of evidence of what he's actually done for her. He manipulates her into moving in with him, doesn't "let" her move out when she's wanted to multiple times, and now kicks her out of the home during the entire day for his convenience. There is only one person who matters in this relationship. Reply Share 14.4k
  • 07
    Font - Paddogirl 11 hr. ago Or - now here's an idea - work from the bedroom, you know like the other half did during the pandemic
  • 08
    Font - Muggle Witch 11 hr. ago. edited 10 hr. ago AITA if I can't stand my girlfriend but continue to lie to her about how much I love her but not show her an ounce of respect? YTA, OP. Why would you even need to ask this question?
  • 09
    Font - DO Advanced_Race4071 9 hr. ago "Strong relationships are built on sacrifice" LMFAO.-Strong relationships are actually built on compromise. 1. Compromise is mutual, sacrifice isn't - it usually means one person is being steamrolled by the other. Why does OP get to decide how she uses the space she's paying for? 2. Compromise also comes with specific goals in mind that both parties agree to. Sacrifice doesn't - it usually means one person is being steamrolled by the other. Is she onboard wi
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    Font - 3. Most people don't resent compromise, but they do when they have to disproportionately make sacrifices- because it usually means one person is being steamrolled by the other. It sounds pretty clear from this post that OP's gf is starting to resent all the sacrifices she's having to make for OP's dream. YTA
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    Font - morticia_dumbledork 10 hr. ago Also, his friend is allowed to sit with him and have lunch, and he asks her to go into the kitchen?! And from what I can make of this, in front of the friend! My god. I hope she realises she needs to leave OP's a.
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    Font - throwaway798319 - 11 hr. ago Enthusiast [9] As And it's fricking winter
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    Font - Homicidal__GoldFish . 8 hr. ago I'm with you. I actually think the girlfriend needs to pack her stuff and leave with a new title. New tital being EX girlfriend. If he seriously cant stand her being in the apartment with him, cant stand that shes not the "cleanest". This poor girl is paying half the rent, and yet being told when she be home??? Then telling her where she can eat her lunch?? YTA OP
  • 14
    Font - Sea-Ad37243 hr. ago As Enthusiast [5] OP sounds like he dislikes his gf so much he doesn't want to be in the same room as her, he mentions wanting her out during the day while he's working and then he goes out in the evening when she gets home. He even states that he doesn't like it when she's in the same room. This is so bizarre. It makes me wonder if he needed a place to live in the US while he worked and is just using her. I hope the gf wakes up and dumps him. OP is definitely the AH
  • 15
    Font - drawohhteb 3 hr. ago Okay. I'm not good at formatting on my phone so I'm not gonna try. But. OP mentioned that after a few big arguments the decision was for her to be gone during the day and OP to be gone at night. When do you actually plan to spend time together? I'm sorry. Are you actually in a relationship or did you just need a roommate to split rent? Do you even actually like her? It seems like you're finding every excuse to not have her around
  • 16
    Font - CajunKC 16 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] . YTA, she's right. She pays half the rent. She is entitled to be there. If you need isolation to work I suggest you find a secluded location to hide yourself in. Your expectations are unreasonable. 8.6k Reply Share Moose4523 12 hr. ago You know, like maybe the bedroom where he tried to seclude her all day so he could have full control of all the common areas. YTA
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    Font - KartlindWitch - 16 hr. ago Aficionado [19] A YTA - If YOU need a special quiet place to work it's on YOU to manage that. You don't get to go around kicking people out of spaces they pay equally to be in. Major as move. Go to the library if your too broke for a 2 bedroom or your own apartment or a wework subscription. figure it out man.
  • 18
    Font - imothro 16 hr. ago Commander in Cheeks [220] Why did you let her move in if you need her to leave half of waking time? This ask is far too big. She pays half the rent, she shouldn't have to leave half the day. It sounds like you need to ask her to move out, which will probably be the end of the relationship. Good luck. YTA
  • 19
    Font - Review Ok929. 15 hr. ago edited 15 hr. ago As Aficionado [19] "she feels that I am controlling" Yes you are "I want to know if I am being unreasonable" yes you are "This is her house as well and I know that she has every right to be in it" Yes she does Are the the as Yes you are YTA e?
  • 20
    Font - Dommichu 11 hr. ago . Serious. Get some headphones you AH. Can you imagine how he would be like if they had kids and he continues to insist to work in a common space like he's on doing. Being so in love. Trying to be so responsible. This is the time you learn to adapt... not try to control people who would otherwise be of great support (or help you stay in the US longer.)
  • 21
    Font - fmlhaveagooddaytho 16 hr. ago YTA. The relationship just sounds like it isn't working anymore. You may love her but you're not spending any time with her and are treating her like she's not allowed to be in the same room as you. It is controlling. She should be able to use her home too. I understand her giving you space while you're working but it's really just odd that you guys are at the point of not even being in the house together at the same time. You even allowed your friend to hang
  • 22
    Font - You say she's being selfish, but what if you stopped and thought about this situation the other way around? How would you feel if she told you where you could and could not be at any given time of the day? Just because she's not working right now doesn't mean you're the only person there who matters. Aren't you leaving the country soon anyway? It sounds like the relationship is just over.
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    Font - MrJeanPoutine 15 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] one day I will be able to spend all the time in the world with her, Keep treating her the way you're treating her now (like she's hinderance or inconvenience) there's a good chance she will want nothing to do with you. YTA.
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    Rectangle - HHHHHHHHHHHHАppy 16 hr. ago Enthusiast [6] A YTA. If you keep sacrificing your relationship now in order to have an idealized one later, you'll get to that point where you're "ready" and have no more relationship to be ready for. 616 Reply Share
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    Font - haiskf 16 hr. ago Partas ipant [1] I just want to get this straight: You asked your girlfriend to go eat in the kitchen so that a FEMALE friend could eat lunch in your GF's favorite chair?? 497 Reply Share MonPanda 8 hr. ago · edited 6 hr. ago Partas ipant [4] SO GLAD you mentioned this. Everyone's talking about work but this clearly isn't work. For me the friends gender doesn't matter but the whole weird I kicked her out for her benefit weird logic does. Ofc she was kicked out because OP
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    Font - VAL L rofax 16 hr. ago Partas ipant [1] INFO: Is she still paying half the rent despite losing her job? Reply Share 301 throwaway89348593479 OP. 16 hr. ago Yes. She has a lot in savings UU -593 Reply Share rofax 16 hr. ago Partas pant [1] Then don't chase her out of her own home, dude. You can set boundaries about not being bothered while you work, but it's not reasonable to expect her to pay for a home and then get out.
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    Font - throwaway89348593479 OP 15 hr. ago actually, it was my apartment first. I asked her to move in when the lease on her place was up. I love her and enjoy being around her, just not when I am working -290 Reply S
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    Font - Traditional-Bag-4508 14 hr. ago Then why do you leave in the evening, when she is allowed to return. You're not working then right? Reply 383 throwaway893485934 79 OP 14 hr. ago I am. I go to the same boba shop at night to do work for clients on a different time zone. She's my best friend, which is why I want to live in the same city with her in the future, even if we aren't living compatible. -289 Reply
  • 29
    Font - Used_Mark_7911 - 16 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [23] YTA - She has just as much right to the space as you do. How about you work in the bedroom all day?
  • 30
    Font - Earth2plague 13 hr. ago NTA. You are doing her a favour, the less time she spends at home the more likely she is to meet a decent guy who will treat her like a human being.
  • 31
    Font - National Paramedic607 15 hr. ago Parta ipant [2] YTA. Honest question: do you even like your gf? Like you really asked your live in gf to not be there when you are? If you can't stand to be around your partner you should like... idk, get a bigger place where you can have your own separate spaces or move on.
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    Font - insatiablesofti. 16 hr. ago. edited 14 hr. ago YTA. If you love your girlfriend as much as you say you do, you need to treat her like your equal. Just because you need a "certain environment" to work doesn't mean you get to commandeer the house. If she is interrupting you when you are exceptionally busy, you can reiterate that to her in a non condescending way. I strongly suggest for the longevity of your relationship that you take breaks to spend time with your gf. No one wants to feel l

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